Ahoy ladies and gentlemen! Here’s another book review by one of our interns, Ben J, who is an incredibly avid reader and book junkie of all things self-improvement related.
This time, we talk about “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne with a special emphasis on how “The Secret” relates to dating and being a pick up artist (PUA) through the Law of Attraction.
So take it away, Ben J!
“The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne: A PUA Book Review
“The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne should seriously be required reading for everyone. NO JOKE.
I was first introduced to this book back in 2008, when I was going through some tough times. My grandfather had just passed away, the Thai restaurant my parents own just closed for good, and school was kicking my ass. I gained weight, started drinking heavily, and fell behind in practicing my instrument (percussion).
My mother saw me going through these tough times and gave me this little book called “The Secret,” by Rhonda Byrne.
I remember opening The Secret and reading each little word. This tiny morsel is but a few hundred short pages, but on tiny little bite sized pages, so those not as bookworm avid such as myself can enjoy the Secret. The book talks about one of the main aspects of being a PUA believe it or not. This may be the most important life lesson of all – POSITIVITY.
Rhonda Byrne talks about negativity in the world. There is a TON of negative crap here in the world, like the news, newspapers, the people around you (JT’s barrel of crabs syndrome anyone?), stress from the boss, ect. In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne suggests this negative power is very weak. Thinking negatively will only drop the mood and just create a snowballing effect of bad mojo.
For example, “Oh gosh, I have this test I have to study for, if I fail, my grade goes down, GPA goes down, can’t get into graduate school, gonna work at starbucks…” A common college student dilemma has snowballed into a horrid bleak future. Is this train of thought healthy? Take a look at the Law of Attraction
Positivity creates more positivity. Negativity creates more negativity.
The Law of Attraction will always attract whatever someone is thinking about. In layman’s terms, think good to get good, think bad to get bad, think shit to get shit. After reading “The Secret,” I started to change my way of thinking, started smiling more, began enjoying life. Now this book didn’t help me lose any weight (I let 4 hour body do that!), but it really helped me enjoy life for what it is, and let all the negativity and stress of life seemingly melt away with positive thoughts and energy.
Rhonda Byrne suggests pulling what positivity there is in situations. She talks about just plainly ENJOYING life. Ever sit down at a meal and try to enjoy EVERY BITE? Sit down for a second, and remember EVERY SINGLE BITE and how DELICIOUS that pasta is, how the flavors of pasta with zesty tomato marinara sauce blends with the sweet aroma of fresh cut chives. Every meal has been incredibly enjoyable, and in all honesty, the joy in eating has come back.
Now as PUAs, we need to understand this lesson within the Law of Attraction and positive thinking wholeheartedly. The self improvement portion of this book is mainly about changing how you perceive life and to create a paradigm shift for yourself.
Do you just want to complain about everything around you?
The law of attraction will take that negative energy and slap you right back with it. Heading out to the club with a negative attitude of, “this club’s music sucks, the girls are ugly, there’s nothing better than a 7 here, ect…” will just cause nasty repercussions in the field.
Going into the club thinking, “I’m going to have so much fun talking to all these beautiful girls and having drinks with my best friends, it’s going to be great!” will cause quite a change of state in the venue. As us solo sargers know, state of mind is absolutely important. Understanding The Secret and the Law of Attraction will only help the situation.
The most important lesson The Secret can teach a PUA is thinking positivity.
In our ABC’s Structure, I find The Secret and The Law of Attraction primarily involved in the A and C Phase. In the A-Phase, we need to ASSUME ATTRACTION before we even Approach the girl!
This comes hand in hand with the Law of Attraction. Approaching a set with that drop dead gorgeous brunette feels a ton better when you give yourself positive reinforcement and go in guns blazing.
In the C-Phase (Compliance, Comfort & Connect), having a positive demeanor in building comfort with a beautiful woman will just bring out the attractive factor. Talking negative in comfort will just ward the girl away. No girl wants to hear about your cat dying or how your 9-5 job sucks.
Although the book is incredibly positive and super uplifting, it has quite a bit of “filthy hippie talk.”
This hippie talk is quite unbelievable. For example, for working out and losing weight, you should putt a piece of paper on your scale and writing down your ideal weight. I don’t think this is a good way to lose weight, but “The Secret” suggests it. The Secret also recommends printing out a fake check from their website and writing in how much money you want and just let the check sit somewhere where you will see it every day and one day this money will “magically synthesize” as if santa just popped out of the chimney with a bag full of money.
Pretty darned farfetched…
If you’re going to read this book, don’t look into the tiny little nuances it suggests. Just take the big picture into account. “The Secret is the Law of Attraction. You are a magnet and your positive thoughts will attract positive attention to your life.”
Like with any self-improvement book, find what strikes you as most compelling, interesting, and curious, then experiment with it, document your results, and use what works. For me, what worked is the positive thinking, being optimistic, and always looking on the bright side of life.
When things go bad, or shit goes down, I just remember The Law of Attraction, and how I need to think positive to bring more good in my life.
I highly recommend you read “The Secret.” It is a great book and it has helped me in so many ways to organize my thinking.
-Ben J
